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Deconstructing the faith of your childhood

Sean and BellaI recently wrote a guest post on my company’s blog called The Seminary Gap. In it I discuss my opinions on preparing individuals for ministry and the missing link of an apprenticing model from most seminaries. One of the tenants I briefly referred to was that on-the-job experience is a place that most people in vocational ministry really learn their role and that it is from this place that we deconstruct the things we’ve previously learned.

As a father, I’m committed to connecting my children in a church where they can learn the foundational stories and lessons of the Christian faith. However, I don’t expect them to be exposed to the various layers and theological perspectives on each of these stories. Whereas I’m willing to question a literal seven-day creation or discuss among friends the possibility that Job might be allegorical, I want my kids to learn these basics as simply ‘truth.’ After all, you learn the basics of cooking (or poker) before you start experimenting with the recipe.

I’m looking forward to that stage with my kids. I enjoy living in the gray, yet it is not something I became comfortable with until much later in life. It’s not possible to deconstruct and live comfortably with the gray until the first version has been fully established, without that portion of the experience deconstruction becomes destructive instead of redemptive.

This difference is subtle, yet significant. The path of arriving at the same conclusions matters deeply. At some point in life most people are confronted with experiences that they cannot reconcile with the faith of their childhood. If young people are onlytaught what to believe, rather than how to believe, then experiences that betray the logic of their early faith are destructive. Learning how to process the grays and the inexplicable mysteries of God broaden and enrich our love, they do not deplete it. To enter the unknown is to come to God with our curiosity rather than forcing explanations that defy logic; it is to enjoy all He has created, whether we fully understand it or not. Instead of forcing answers explore as children filled with wonder.

Engaging society in a Post-Christian culture

Culture has changed, and there’s a lot of people who are pretty ticked off about that.

barbarabillingsley

In our attempts to become Christlike many well-meaning Christians are lulled into a isolation. They begin with the reasonable thought of shielding their family from culture. The premise is that society no longer has prudent boundaries on what’s appropriate, especially for children, and since they feel so helpless to fight the trend they simply disappear. I can appreciate some of this. I was recently at a very graphically violent movie and someone a couple rows back had their 5 year-old kids with them. While protecting children from experiences that are not age-appropriate may be valid responding by isolating oneself from culture degenerates into a form of arrogant superiority that is both myopic and unhealthy.

This is not a new problem, in the first century there was a group of people so disgusted by the culture surrounding them that they fled to the desert to start a new, purer form of culture, the Essenes.

Jesus was fully human and fully God. Sometimes in an attempt to establish His divinity we cover up His humanity. When Jesus met the people of His time that religious people sneered at He did not hate them, He did not retreat; in fact He engaged them, He broke bread with them and went into their houses and shared a meal. This is a very human act, and one that if more people simply shared a meal with someone different from themselves might find out they have a lot more in common than they supposed. The Christian defense of “be IN the world, not OF it” was never intended to mean not being WITH people.

A key difference between the 1st century Jewish sects and the Christian isolationists of today is that the Essenes lived in a Jewish nation (albeit occupied by a foreign power) and today most Christian leaders do not recognize that we live in a post-Christian America. They are angry that society moved on without them and they aren’t sure what to do to get back to shaping culture. Instead of attempting to control society through political jockeying, shame tactics or religious bullying  why don’t we pursue genuine relationship without an agenda? Until Christian leaders can demonstrate LOVE for those around them we have no rights to attempt to influence anyone.

Love is blind?

I know justice is blind, or at least it should be, but is love? To not know someone and still love them, is it possible or can we only love what we know? How can I love 2 little boys on the other side of the world without knowing them and why they are so wonderful? How can I love them? Perhaps today I only love the idea of them.

When I married Kathy I believed I loved her, and I did; at least what I knew of her at that time. Today, after 9 years of marriage, 3 daughters and a number of difficult life experiences when I say “I love you” it has a depth of meaning that was only represented in theory when we said our vows.

For that matter how can any of us really love another person? or God? We don’t really know God. We have abstractions, we know facts – or at least interpretations of facts, but do we truly “know” him? In  the book of Corinthians it is stated like this;

                        For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. (13:12, NIV)

It is difficult to translate this for the Western American context. To a modern mind things (God) can be understood and dissected scientifically, and anything that cannot be understood under a microscope must not be real. The challenge of course is that the Bible is not primarily a textbook. Peter Rollins explains in his book How (Not) to Speak of God, “the term knowing in the Hebrew tradition (in contrast to the Greek tradition) is about engaging in an intimate encounter rather than describing some objective fact: religious truth is thus that which transforms reality rather than that which describes it.”

Thus I believe that I can love our sons whom I’ve never met and live thousands of miles away in Africa. I love them as now and I will love them more and more as I meet them, know them and then again after years of living together and being their father. This is a core human need, to be known and to be loved, and we all fall short. Ultimately we will not “know” God or others this side of eternity, but there is a promise that this is not the entire story. God gives us a clue that there is hope in Him.

“To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.” ~ Timothy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage.

So my sons, I love you, for now in part, and someday I will hold you and know you and love you all the more.

Another letter to my 6 year-old

Last weekend my middle daughter turned 6. It’s hard to comprehend how quickly time passes when I realize it has already been 2 years since I wrote about Jaslyn turning 6.


Maleah, my boo. You are so precious to me. I adore how your favorite princess is Mulan, and how you want to be like her. You are. You are strong. You are different, and you have a wild and pure heart. Also, you often spill your milk and chew with your mouth open and sometimes these things frustrate daddy and he forgets how much he adores you. I’m sorry for that, truly I am. I’m so scared that in my desire for order I have crushed your spirit. I notice how timid and unsure you can be at times and I wonder how I’ve contributed to that.

Every time you ask “am I beautiful,” “am I smart,” “do you like my dress,” “do you like my hair,” I always reassure you that of course you are. I love that you still ask me these things. I love how you are so funny. You make me laugh and you love to be silly. You sing at the top of your voice the words to your favorite worship song, “I’m in a war, and not with a squirrel” (*and not with this world). And I love our daddy daughter dates and that you still get so excited for them and want to fill the evening with everything fun you can think of.

You always have a drink in your hand (so you’re a lot like your dad) and you know very certainly what you like and don’t like. And most certainly you do not like carrot juice or brussel sprouts.

I love that when you grow up you want to be a part-time doctor, a part-time fashion designer/artist and a full-time mommy. I love that you made a dress for your barbie out of toilet paper, tape and a red marker. I love that you decorate your hair more uniquely than any 6 year old I’ve known. I love how you love to swing so high and how only 12months ago you were so scared of the swings.

You have a vivid imagination. There are lots of unicorns and ponies in your world, and you keep one there just for me. You invented butterfly hugs and you offer me them whenever I most need one.

I’m so proud of you for accepting Jesus into your heart this year, and I love how you did it in a way that is uniquely you. From the back seat of my car while we were parked at the ATM you told me how you talked to Jesus all the time in your head. I asked if it would be okay if we prayed out loud together and to invite Jesus into your heart, and you gladly prayed with me. To you, you already knew Him and praying together was just something you did because I asked. And I love how your favorite prayer is that we’d have “fun”.

My boo, I love you more than you could possibly understand and perhaps more than you believe.

Bi Polar is the new normal

My good friend and co-worker Dave Bair is famous around the Church Community Builder offices for saying, “I feel strongly both ways”. In addition to providing a good chuckle his statement is quite profound. We all wrestle with varying degrees of being bi-polar, schizophrenic and delusional.

This phenomenon can be observed anytime a celebrity pastor stumbles. Those from the Christian community tend to respond with shock – “how could he fall, he was such a good man?” and the secular community around them shouts “see, you’re no different than us” quit judging us! How is it possible that a Christian, a “new creation in Christ” could be in a worship experience one moment, and having an affair the next?

My question is why do we wonder this? All I have to do is look inside my own soul to better understand how this could happen. I myself am a collaboration of contradictions and anomalies. I feel strongly both ways as Dave said, and I constantly wrestle simultaneously with sin and devotion to Christ.

What the Christian community needs to learn is that the primary message we’ve been communicating has been one of judgement, not acceptance. What the world hears from us is mostly about the list of things we believe they need to stop doing, and the political candidate we believe supports our agenda. What they see in us is that we do all the same things they do. I’m not suggesting we abandon the moral platitudes, rather its about our manner of delivering the message. We need to live well and love well before we teach well. We need to focus more upon loving and serving others and not “converting” them.

In my experience people can tell when you have an agenda. It’s easy to spot the church whose offer for community and acceptance is conditional upon a change to meet their standards. Just because we sin in different ways than they do does not mean that we are somehow better. Lets become transparent about our brokenness and show others our complete dependance upon God’s grace, not a one time offer based upon a conversion, but an ongoing act of His great mercy. Through inclusion, not exclusion we all will be transformed, and not one of us will reach perfection this side of heaven.

How to Develop an Engaged Church Culture: Senior Pastor

The era of the celebrity pastor is gone. Perhaps news of the public malaise regarding such figures has not reached everyone yet, but when it does it will be abrupt. In the new dispensation pastors have begun to realize that they cannot and should not be the only decision maker within the church. They are the main communicator, teacher and they are the primary influence upon culture, but regardless of how charismatic no individual should hold the helm so tightly that others are prevented from co-creating.

This is not a simple task, giving away what one nurtured from infancy. Appreciating the sacrifices that were required by the founding pastor in the early days it is understandable that letting go would be difficult; yet if they do not lead the process of delegating responsibility they will suffer through it in multiple painful experiences, or the church will simply stagnate into irrelevance.

Many pastors won’t let go, and as such the church will be limited to their personal characteristics. If you have a pastor who has a passion for evangelism, everyone in the congregation will be urged to be an evangelist. The challenge, of course, is that while we are all called to bear witness to the gospel, not everyone has the gift of evangelism. This subtle pressure to mimic the senior pastor (through a church culture that is based solely upon them) causes a spiritual sickness to permeate the entire congregation. The body lacks diversity, creativity and begins to die.

To give away through the involving of many does not mean without guidance, boundaries and wisdom. Ephesians 4:12 says, “to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ” Equipping the saints is a very intentional process. To develop an engaged church culture the senior pastor must be a master at raising up leaders of all kinds. They must be explicit in stating where God is leading the body, providing boundaries, clear direction as to what the destination looks like. God is a god of order, providing natural and spiritual order to the universe.

In the book of Job when the Lord finally replies to Job’s lament He says:

“Or who shut in the sea with doors
when it burst out from the womb,
when I made clouds its garment
and thick darkness its swaddling band,
and prescribed limits for it
and set bars and doors,
and said, ‘Thus far shall you come, and no farther,
and here shall your proud waves be stayed’?

How do you define a fully engaged church member?

(Until you can state this simply and precisely then you will not know what to say “no” to when giving away leadership and involving others.)

UNinspired

Quite frankly I’m not all that inspired right now. I feel like I don’t have much to say, well, nothing new at least. It’s been 2 months since my last blog post. I suppose that’s the challenge, once you decide to do a blog you have to keep it going, at least that’s what the experts tell me.

BLOGGING: Never before have so many people with so little to say said so much to so few.

~ by despair.com

I’m listening to some good podcasts, watching movies (haven’t seen a good one in a long time) and reading books. What do you do to get out of that rut?

If you are a pastor do you still prepare the sermon when you are uninspired? Should people blog, or preach or write books or anything else if they feel they haven’t got something to say?

What would happen if the pastor at your church just got up on stage on Sunday morning and said, “Well, I’ve got nothing to say to you, so please use this time go read your Bible and enjoy a nice kolache with your wife.”

 

How to Hire Church Staff without paying them

Back in December I wrote a post that included some of the Megachurch Trends for 2012. One of the trends that is gaining momentum is to “equip the saints” for the work of the ministry, rather than just hiring a position. In the past, megachurches were able to simply hire for every need that arose. While most large churches did not show a decline in giving in 2011 (source: Leadnet report on megachurches) they are seeking wiser stewardship of their resources. This means that it will be critical for these churches to develop a well-rounded strategy for engaging non-paid staff (aka volunteers). To both realize better results, as well as provide a better experience for our key leaders, we must improve the processes behind volunteer management.  To understand exactly how to do that I went to the national expert on the subject, Don Simmons, founder of Creative Potential consulting.

me: Why is it important that the Church learns to say “unpaid staff” instead of “volunteers”?

Don: What we “name” people always matters–Jesus made a big deal of changing what he called people, from “slaves” to “friends,” so, to follow His lead, we need to always be sure that our language reflects the Biblical model.  “Volunteers” are traditionally and typically referred to as a workforce that shows up out of the goodness of their heart to do work that most folks don’t really want to do, and there is a perception of the “little old lady with free time.”  Some churches have viewed these servants as “necessary evils,” thinking that it would be much easier to “manage” them if they could “hire ‘em and fire ‘em. Well, there is absolutely no research that would indicate that folks who receive a paycheck are any more motivated, responsible, reliable or skilled than people who do their work without pay.  In fact, in Some Do Care, the research states that unpaid servants are often MORE reliable, MORE motivated (since $ is not a real motivation–see Managing with Carrots), and often get MORE done with less. It’s far from an Eph. 4:11 mindset, where pay never enters the equation.  The Saints need to be equipped, not paid!

me: What is required to make this shift?

Don: All staff, paid and unpaid, need clear, specific direction: position descriptions, equipping, training, space to do work, accountability, responsibility, Authority (spiritual and otherwise), evaluation, feedback. In the case of personnel management, the Church has tried to be more like IBM than like the Community Benefit Organization (aka, nonprofit) that they are.  All people serving in the Church need to be afforded with everything they need to be successful in ministry.  If an unpaid person has agreed to an 8-5 daily schedule, then, that unpaid person should be afforded the same responsibilities and benefits that paid persons are provided.  Breaks, lunch hours, sign-in, sign out, safety/sexual harassment training, parking space, vacation, business cards, “name on the door,” and other benefits that other staff people are typically provided. It’s a simple function: if we treat people as professionals, they will most likely perform as professionals.

me: Can you provide some real-world examples?

Don: At one large church in Illinois, there are several part time paid staff persons who are provided with office space, administrative assistants, cell phones and designated parking spaces.  That’s all great, but, there are unpaid servants who work in the same ministry at the same church who serve full-time (45-60 hours per week) who crowd into a “work room” at tables with no chairs, no phones, park in whatever space they can find…you get the picture.  These unpaid folks have more ministry experience than the paid staff, and, in many ways, are better qualified and more skilled than the paid folks. The inequity is stark: but, that’s not my issue–these unpaid folks aren’t complaining, yet, how much more effective could this ministry be if they were provided the space, resources, tools, etc. that they paid people have (in half the time?) By contrast, at a large church in the Bay area an unpaid staff member is provided a full-time PAID administrative assistant who supports them, it multiplies their ministry many times.  They have successfully navigated the personnel process, but, it took a long time to communicate that “pay/no pay” is not the greatest measure of value or authority.  That unpaid staff person has the same access to the Sr. Pastor, is expected to participate in Sr. staff meetings, has a voice in planning and even works with seminary interns.

me: What will the benefits be?

Don: Ministry can be multiplied, the “clergy/laity” divide can be diminished, more persons can see themselves as ministers, as called, as gifted; more ministry can be provided for the congregation; but, most of all, it can provide a great sense of humility for all who lead, who may be tempted to see themselves as more important because they are paid.  Sadly, the more some staff are paid, the less they understand the unpaid (money will do that, I guess).

Don: Summing it up: The term “volunteers” has too much baggage for most church leaders–they are often viewed as second class, worker class, “less than” and not given the authority, resources, support, equipping, space and tools to do their given tasks in the same way that “paid staff” are.  By making a shift to “unpaid staff,” it begins to reshape our thinking to more of a level playing field–that we ALL are called to be ministers, all are saints, all are called, and in some ways, all are “ordained” by virtue of the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.
If a church begins to identify their “volunteers” as “unpaid staff,” it can begin to open the door to more people being actively engaged in the work of the Church, because the every-man in the pew can begin to see him/herself AS a minister–a pastor, and evangelist, a missionary–in their everyday live/work/play life. I am ON STAFF at my church, but, I am not PAID by my church (I’m paid by another entity that God also resources–Fresno State.) Once we shift our thinking about money and resources, the thinking about paid and unpaid staff makes more sense.

Don Simmons provides leadership through Creative Potential Consulting.
He specializes in training volunteer management and leadership, board development, staff development, retreat and off-site training events, executive coaching, strategic planning, conflict mediation and resolution
adaptive learning. You may contact him HERE  to learn more.

Weird Church

In his new book, We are all Weird, Seth Godin defines “weird” as anyone who does not fit within the standard deviation of  normal, and today, more than ever, that group is growing. He advocates that this frightens the organizations that rely upon mass-marketing. I would contend that churches ought to be afraid as well. It’s time for the church to become weird.

A weird church might have a completely different structure. It would be a church that is serious about the call to equip the saints for the work of the ministry, rather than relying upon the paid staff to do it all. By being proactive about discipleship, many would be released to help the poor and defending the cause of the orphan. Small groups would become a key strategy in providing the level of community required to ensure all belong and are cared for. Instead of requiring conformity, a weird church would welcome diversity by guiding people into small groups scattered throughout the city.

Tribes respect the weirdest of their people. A weird church must encourage those people to continue being weird, reaching more of their tribe. Forcing conformity to the “christian norm” would only eliminate their impact. Thus an outsider who employs a strategy to reach a particular group feels dis-genuine. The outsider can immediately be spotted and their ulterior motives are revealed. That means it’s time for more leaders. The senior leader(s) at the church need to create a culture of discipleship, identify leaders, and then send them out to reach their own definition of weird. In some circumstances this necessitates a small group, in others an alternative venue and occasionally a multisite campus. The goal in becoming weirder is not to isolate into segregated groups – the body is about celebrating our diversity – the goal is to identify what already exists in an area and support God’s movement in that place.

One of my favorite “weird” churches is Pantano Christian Church in Tucson, AZ. Communications Director, Lisa Hamilton, understands the impact anyone can have within their own sub-culture. She explains, “My weirdness is asking both staff and lay leaders to think beyond announcements at a whole-church level to making personal invitations. Consistently. If you truly believe in something and want to share that with your tribe, you must ask or invite again and again. Personal relationships are the key to the ask. Asking your own tribe and reaching our to bring others into your tribe.”

According to the 2011 Megachurch report (co-produced by LeadNet) there are high numbers of “new” people at megachurches. Thus the strategy the church needs in response is to have well-defined and organic processes in place to help people connect to their unique brand of “weird.” That means that the church of the future will be a collection of small tribes of odd people, rather than a conformed mass of “normal” people. In a church with so many options for people to connect and find a place that they belong it will be important to lead newcomers. Most will not intuitively know how to fit in, they must be invited.

Few churches articulate this as well as Pastor Brian Moss at Oak Ridge Baptist Church in Salisbury, MD. In his annual state of the church message titled, “Why We’re all Whacked,” Pastor Brian shares that the Pharisee’s hated Jesus because he made it too easy to get to God. (Grace lets all the weird people in) The explosion of “weird” is obvious at ORBC because in 2011 they doubled the number of small groups, and they are serious about discipleship. They define discipleship not simply as an increase in knowledge, but through life transformation. In Pastor Brian’s words, “how much of your life do you give away?”

While the explosive growth may be exciting to many church leaders, the temptation will be to resist transforming all those new people into “normal.” People are weird. Go engage them in that weirdness and the church will be  stronger for it.

How do you see “weird” emerging in your church? Do you encourage it or run from it?

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