Pirate Christianity
Barbosa: First of all, Miss Turner, returning you to shore was never part of our agreement. Second, you are not a pirate, so the Pirate’s Code does not apply. And third, the Pirate’s Code is more of a set of what you’d call ‘guidelines’ than actual rules. Welcome aboard the Black Pearl, Miss Turner.
I’m one of those guys that just naturally remembers movie quotes. Typically I quote them out of context and confuse my friends or just annoy my wife. This line from Pirates of the Caribbean has stuck with me through the years. I view it as a challenge to how I live out my walk with Jesus.
Christianity is more what you’d call ‘guidelines’ than actual rules.
Allow me to insert my disclaimers here. I’m not a theologian, and don’t pretend to be. For those of you with well-formed ecclesiologies I am not suggesting that Christianity is a situational ethic, or that there are not standards. I am suggesting; however, that when simply viewed as a list of rules to follow you remove the heart. Compliance is not the goal – transformation is.
We see this modeled best in Jesus, he transcended the rules. He was a rule-breaker but not just to rebel or break the rules. Jesus healed on the sabbath, (Mark 3) and broke the law – in order to fulfill it.
I am obsessed with the rules – I want to learn them that I might apply them and thus be “safe”. Guidelines are much more dangerous. A set of guidelines requires I internalize the circumstance and my character is tested. Guidelines provide the intent of a matter to allow the individual to wisely (or unwisely) apply to each decision.
As I raise my daughters I am hoping to cultivate in them a rich soil of character. When I focus on the harvest and not the soil I miss the intent of discipleship. I have simply raised compliant children that are dependent upon me to tell them what to do, and they have not truly “become” transformed. Mark tells it this way, “the seed planted in the good earth represents those who hear the Word, embrace it, and produce a harvest beyond their wildest dreams.” It has been ingested and begun the process of internal redemption.
As you implement a discipleship culture at your church how can the concept of “Pirate Christianity” be useful?
a letter to my 6 year-old
my snow pea
Today my precious daughter turns 6 years old. My snow-pea.
Jaslyn, my first-born daughter, I am SO proud of you. I remember like it was just yesterday holding you in the palm of my hand, and you would sit cross-legged (or criss-cross apple sauce as you would say) and you fit in 1 hand. I would hold you up – way up in the air, and you had no fear. I remember seeing you in the window of our house on Royer, waiting for me to come home from work – and I will never forget for the rest of my life the first kiss you gave me.
I can’t believe how big you are now, and how many things you can do now. I was so proud of you for winning the “most caring & compassionate” kindergartner award. I love to watch the young lady you are becoming, you are a joy to me. And while we have had a lot of great memories, I will do my best not to keep you in the past. I know you want to keep growing, exploring and doing new things – and I want to help you. There are a lot of firsts we’ve experienced together – you were my first daughter, and as such you have born the brunt of my “education” as a father. I didn’t know a 2 year-old couldn’t just go upstairs and clean her room. And I’m sorry for the times that my “education” as a dad meant that I took out anger upon you.
I’m so scared of what is yet to come, as you become a beautiful young woman, but I trust how you make decisions and I know your heart for Jesus. So for only a few more years I will enjoy watching you dance for me, and listening as you tell me stories, or explain things to your sisters, as you try new things, and have many adventures.
I can’t believe I get to be your dad. You amaze & bless me.
It’s all bubblegum
Recently I feel like God has been showing me all the ways that I’ve failed in communications. I’m becoming more impressed that the “how” is more important than the “what”.
Remember that scene from the 1980′s movie 3 Men & a Baby when Tom Sellick is reading Sports Illustrated to the baby? “Its not what you read, its the tone of voice you use.”
This is an important lesson for people like me, people who normally pride themselves on “being right”, because often, even when I’m right, I’m still wrong. It’s not so much that my content isn’t accurate, but when I focus more upon “being right” than I do upon how much care and concern I express when delivering my message I loose all potential impact.
When I explain this concept to the 20-something’s at Vanguard Church I will relate it to the common marketing approaches of bubble gum. It’s not that your product is lame, you just aren’t presenting it correctly.
If you want to sell bubble gum to 10 year-old boys then you put it in a giant pouch, put a cartoon character of a sports player on the front and shred it into mixed pieces. That same approach won’t typically work for a 20-something urbanites. Not too many people pulling out the Big League chew at the club from their coat pocket. If you want to sell bubble gum to that crowd you put it in a unique package that opens from the side, and advertise it with sexy models jumping into a pool filled with cranberries, or whatever that is – but the point being, that at the end of the day, it’s all bubble gum. Packaging matters. How I say what I have to say matters.
I’m trying to learn how to have people I respect speak into this area of my life. @CCBSteve, you’re one of them. I’m not really sure if any of us has the power to change, except through a lot of repentance, asking forgiveness and praying next time you catch yourself before saying something hurtful. This requires patience. I am trying to seek to understand before seeking to be understood. The majority of my extreme comments in my 20′s can be attributed to a lack of patience, and a strong desire to see the world in black & white. I think my need to judge everything as either “right” or “wrong” comes from fear. A black & white world is much simpler, easier to navigate and doesn’t require as much introspection. This form of reductionism excuses me from relationship. I don’t have to truly enter your world, hear your story, learn your pain and then respond, I only have to judge that your action was “wrong”. This level of vulnerability costs me something. Not only does it put me at risk to expose the rawness* in my own life, but it also requires my time to investigate. A world with a lot of gray is one that places me humbly in the hands of God to be dependent upon His sufficiency, His judgment, and His call for me to love others. I don’t like this, because I am no longer in control – but I know that it is what I need.
* this is a term I learned from Pastors Kelly & Tosha Williams in their book Raw to Real, pending release.
being happy
happiness is ice cream
My children inspire me. I’ve realized that it takes a lot to make me happy. I can always find something that isn’t quite right, or something to complain about- but my 3 year-old daughter finds considerable joy in a bowl of ice cream.
Godliness with contentment is great gain. (1TIm6:6)
I believe that so many of us in America (and Canada) have been programmed to seek happiness. Our parents lifted up the value of “I just want you to be happy,” and t.v. and movies reinforced it. It’s our “right” as Americans after-all, the pursuit of happiness. But what an elusive goal happiness when I cannot even define it for myself.
I would like to propose that the “answer” to this problem is to simply be happy. Or as Paul referred to it, contentment; and I most definitely believe it is a deliberate and daily choice to be happy. Recently in a time of reflection I felt the Holy Spirit leading me to read Hebrews 4. This section of scripture discusses the concept of entering God’s rest and that it is a promise for today. One reason rest seems so distant to me (other than having 3 daughters under 5 yrs old) is that I struggle with who I am and tend to find my identity in my accomplishments. I know this isn’t healthy, but it doesn’t make it any less true for me. One book that I read in my 20′s that really helped me understand this for the first time was A Tale of Three Kings by Gene Edwards. Edwards compares the kingship of Saul, David and Absalom. Saul is a man who desperately tried to hold onto his throne, and Absalom began an uprising to strip the throne from his father, David. But David, knowing he was a son of God, did not need to be a king of men, and he allowed Absalom to take the throne.
While I was reading Heb 4 the Spirit also led me to the verse in 1 Samuel “obedience is better than sacrifice”. I had been lamenting over all the sacrifices I was making in the name of ministry or career, but what’s really happening? Was I making sacrifices God had not called me to make? Obedience is better than sacrifice; so if God is calling me to be obedient to his voice how can I know what He’s saying if I am not listening, and how can I listen when I just too busy? REST.
To be a “man of peace” as Luke refers to in his gospel, I must find contentment. To find contentment I must know my identity does not belong in my accomplishments, but in the creator of the universe calling me a son, and to know my identity I must find times of rest to hear my father’s voice and simply be obedient. It is a natural rhythm that I must follow, and as I move with the flow of God’s spirit offering revelation to me I find His peace.
That is the place where I know it is well with my soul, my place of contentment. Just being happy.
the father heart of God: the 5 key roles of a father
PS 68:4- 6 (NLT)
Sing praises to God and to his name!
Sing loud praises to him who rides the clouds.
His name is the Lord— rejoice in his presence!
Father to the fatherless,
defender of widows— this is God, whose dwelling is holy.
God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy.
But he makes the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.
And while I’m quite sure I don’t have to convince anyone here of these facts I do want to illustrate the importance earthly fathers play in our lives. All of us must wrestle with the role of our fathers in our lives and how we consequentially relate to God, our heavenly Father. Understanding where our earthly fathers left off helps surface broken places in our hearts to bring to Jesus for healing.
In my journey I’ve identified some key roles that a father should fulfill in our lives. When we are missing in one or all of these areas it shapes who we become. The purpose of identifying what areas you lack may help you in how you seek God and what you seek him for. Through understanding this we can then approach our heavenly father who sees all our needs and with confidence mature into the people he’s calling us to be. This list is not comprehensive nor cover every nuance or duty that a father does in daily life, but it is designed to be an overarching look at how God calls us men up into shaping the world around us.
5 Roles of a Godly father:
- > Protect -> ( PS 5:11)“But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you. “
All throughout the Psalms God is referred to as a protector. When my first daughter was born I held her only moments after she was born and prayed over her. I vowed that I would lay down my life for hers. There is nothing I wouldn’t do to protect her. This should be innate in a father when his child is born, but protection goes far beyond defending against a home invasion or that mean boy that kids sand in her face, its learning to protect my children’s hearts as well. As a friend shared when we discussed this topic at Vanguard’s college/career group (@DIGScos) she needed her father to be emotionally present for her when her first boyfriend broke her heart.
2. > Provide -> (1 Timothy 5:8) “If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
We can take any of these to extremes, but the concept of provision is basic parenting. Its helping distinguish between my children’s needs and wants. (and mine too). Its ok to provide some of the wants from time to time, but the lesson I learned about provision in regards to my heavenly father is that its not just something He does… it’s who He is. The Lord’s name is “Jehovah Jireh”, which means “the Lord shall provide.” Its in His very nature, and it should be in ours.
3. > Identity – >(John 13:3-4) “ Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist.”
In the modern western world it is common to describe someone by what they do. Listen to conversations this week and see if when two people are meeting for the first time if one of them quickly asks, “And what do you do?” This is not the case in most of the rest of the world – in most cultures what is more important is your lineage, where you came from. This is why we see so many chapters of the Bible dedicated to genealogy. As I was praying about the key roles of a Father one that I wanted to list was that a father gives us confidence. I had imagined the father running alongside his child on a bicycle for the first time telling them they can do it. “I believe in you” … but the more I prayed about it I realized that confidence is a by-product of identity. Take a look again at the scripture above. What is Jesus doing in this scripture? Why did he wrap a towel around his waist? He was about to wash the disciples feet. Jesus is truly revolutionary in this. The master bending down before the student! Yet notice what the verse says… Jesus knew… that he had come from God…. in other words, he knew who he was – and from that comes the confidence to serve. He did not need to have an authoritarian rule – an iron fist to control his kingdom, or prove himself. Many men today are really full-grown boys still trying to prove themselves – in need of a father to tell them who they are.
4. > Instruct/ guidance – > (Deuteronomy 6:1-2) “These are the commands, decrees and laws the LORD your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, 2 so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the LORD your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life.”
When I first left home and went off to live on my own I realized I needed some guidance, more than I ever had before. I would call my dad for advice on everything from signing a lease, to girls, to fixing leaky toilets. I think that none of us really ever out-grow the need for a father’s counsel – there is always some new unknown – life seems give us new challenges. I recently had lunch with a young man who grew up without a father in his life. Due to divorce his dad checked out and this courageous young man I met still longed for his father’s counsel. He felt immature in areas of his life, he didn’t have a father (his mother worked 2 jobs to make ends meet) to guide him at those critical junctions in life. If you don’t have someone in your life I challenge each of you to seek someone out- someone a couple stages ahead of you in life to be that voice that God can speak through to remind you of the path.
5. > Bless/Initiate – > (Gen 27:10) “Then take it to your father to eat, so that he may give you his blessing before he dies.”
One of the key roles of a father is to bless his children. This is so much more than mere approval, blessing flows out of identity. It is me observing my children, and knowing who God has made them to be. It’s me helping tell them their own stories… it flows from repeated years of guidance… and it is not based upon their performance. A father’s love is unconditional. Yes our fathers discipline us (new post coming on this soon) – but they do so because they love us… these ideas of the roles of a father are intertwined, they spring off one another. The role of a father’s blessing is closely tied to the concept of initiation. Craig Glass of Peregrine Ministries has devoted entire weekends to helping fathers release their son’s into their calling. As a father of 3 young daughters (ages 1,3 & 5) I’m already dreading the day I take “the longest walk of my life.” (thanks Glenn for that quote). Many cultures do a good job of understanding this need to lead children into adulthood and have elaborate ceremonies to celebrate this transition. I’m still not sure how I’ll handle this with my daughters, but I do my best to make a habit of blessing them regularly. At the Buchanan household this ritual occurs on Sunday evenings as they are going to bed. I take each daughter into my lap and hold their faces, looking into their eyes I affirm who I see that God has made them to be, and why I’m so desperately in love with each one of them. My prayer is that over time this knowledge of their father’s love will produce a harvest of confidence that will allow them to set down the need for earthly titles in order to feel accepted. (See A Tale of 3 Kings by Gene Edwards for an indepth lesson on this)
a father's joy
